


Carry You

by next12exits



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Genre: Gen, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/next12exits/pseuds/next12exits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post episode 83 </p><p>Life without Lizzie is hard for the Darcy siblings. Gigi convinces her brother to stop wallowing, and take a chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carry You

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so Bernie Su pretty much broke my heart today with his Lydia reveal, and I'm having a lot of Dizzie withdrawal already (and Lizzie hasn't even left yet!) which I thought I'd deal with by writing .... something ..... sad. Well, enjoy! :)
> 
> Inspired by the song "Carry you" by Jimmy Eat World, and the poem by E.E. Cummings.
> 
> "I carry your heart with me   
> (I carry it in my heart)  
> I am never without it"

Gigi sat next to her older brother on the spacious couch in their living area, eating Chinese food out of a small white boxes and watching re-runs of an old British comedy series that they hadn’t seen in years. Sundays were really the only time they got to spend together these days, and Gigi hung out for this time every week.

 

Usually, the air would be light between them. Gigi would chatter away incessantly, laughing at Williams’s uncanny impersonation of John Cleese’s character, and they would catch up on each other’s lives, or talk about the places they'd like to visit.

 

But tonight was its polar opposite. William sat on the couch with his feet resting on the edge of the coffee table in front of him. He focused the majority of his attention on his food, rather than on his sister which was completely out of character for him. They hadn’t spoken much recently, but Gigi knew that the more she forced her brother into doing something, the less inclined he was to actually do it. So, she figured she wouln't harrass him, and wait for him to eventually say something. But it had been days now - days spent almost in complete silence, and Gigi’s stomach was knotting in anxiety.

 

Since Lizzie’s sudden departure from Pemberley Digital, Gigi had hardly seen her brother. He had become a recluse, throwing himself into his work again. He skipped meals, stayed up until ridiculous hours of the morning answering emails, and barely saw any of his friends – much the same way he did after Lizzie had rejected him all those months ago. Gigi was no stranger to this behavior, but she couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes, and worry for her brother’s overall health. He couldn't hide in his work forever ... She wouldn't let him.

 

Gigi wondered miserably if this was the sight her brother had to endure witnessing with her, after George had blatantly used her, and casually walked away before ruining her life. Oh, yes - Gigi was familiar with the empty look in Williams’s eyes, his pallor complexion, and careless behavior. He was altered the exact same way as Gigi had been after Wickham had finished with her. She was also familiar with the pain that was woven into every syllable of her brother’s words the few times that he had spoken about Lizzie since she left. He never spoke of her voluntarily, but Gigi knew that he carried Lizzie with him, and not a second passed when she wasn't on his mind.  
  


Before Lizzie’s departure, things had seemed to be going really well between her and William. Gigi had noticed the vast difference in Lizzie’s countenance as she conversed with him both on and off the camera. It seemed that William was almost ready to take another chance and lay his heart out on the line again for her. He had even taken a chance and purchased theatre tickets for himself and Lizzie only. It was supposed to be a night where they could enjoy each other's company, and maybe explore the idea that that maybe Lizzie's feelings for William were more favourable. It was supposed to be the beginning ...

 

But that had all been taken away from William in a second, at the hands of one George Wickham. George _fucking_ Wickham, Gigi thought angrily. The very man who nearly tore their little family apart all those years ago, had returned to again seek his revenge on William, but this time through a _different_ sibling. Wickham somehow always knew how best to exploit a person's weaknesses, and Gigi was horrified to see Lizzie's youngest sister was the latest victim in Wickhams web of lies.

 

George _fucking_ Wickham … Would they ever be rid of him from their lives? Or was that just too much to hope for?

 

“Do you want the last spring roll?” Gigi asked cheerfully, pushing a plastic Chinese container across the table towards William.

 

Her brother pushed the rice around in his container with his chopsticks, and shook his head, before focusing his eyes on the TV in the distance. Gigi wasn’t fooled for a second – his expression was slightly glazed over, and she knew that he was deep in thought. It wasn’t hard for Gigi to guess what, or _whom_ , occupied his thoughts.

 

“Come on, Will,” Gigi said with a hint of exasperation, “You’ve barely eaten anything. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the lack of food that’s made it from the chopsticks into your mouth.”

 

He looked at his sister briefly, before sighing softly.

 

“I’m not hungry,” he replied in a hollow voice.

 

Gigi rolled her eyes, and pushed the spring rolls closer towards him.

 

“Well, you still need to eat or you’ll pass out. Besides which, you don’t know what you’re missing. These roll are delicious.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it,” he replied dully.

 

They sat in silence for a while again; William sipping at his wine occasionally, and Gigi finishing off the last of the crispy spring rolls. She took a sip of her own wine before plucking up the courage to finally confront her brother about Lizzie.

 

“You want to talk about it?” Gigi asked him casually. Maybe keeping the mood light would entice him into speaking.

 

“No,” he replied shortly, a hint on warning in his tone. He never got angry with Gigi, but she didn’t like to push the boundaries with him either.

 

“Really? Not even a little bit?”

 

William stabbed a bit of chicken with his chopsticks with more force than necessary, before finally meeting his sister’s eyes.

 

“I assure you, I really don’t. Now, can we please drop the subject, and enjoy ourselves?”

 

“Yeah, because you’re such a barrel of laughs this evening,” she replied sarcastically.

 

William put his Chinese container down on the table, swapping it instead for his wineglass, which he filled until the crimson liquid swung precariously close to the rim of the glass.

 

“What do you want me to say, Gigi?” he asked quietly.

 

The defeat was evident in his voice and it broke Gigi’s heart.

 

“Anything,” she replied; her expression softening immediately, “I just need to know you exist _somewhere_ inside that shell of a body you’re hiding in.”

 

He sighed before taking a long sip of wine.

 

“I exist,” he said simply, “Somewhat.”

 

Gigi nodded and waited a few moments before speaking again. Her voice was soft, and had a pleading undertone to it.

 

“Will, I know that you need some time to process everything, and deal with things in your own way. I respect that … but please don’t go and disappear on me again, ok? You're all I have. Besides which, you’re not the only one here who is missing her, you know …”

 

William looked over at his little sister, curled up on the end of the couch next to him, with a sad expression in her eyes. It took him right back to the moment she was 18; just after Wickham had come into their lives and broke every bond between them. In her own way, Gigi was lamenting Lizzie’s departure too. She was missing someone who had become a close friend to her – almost like a sister. Of course Lizzie's departure would have affected more than just himself.

 

Ironicaly, William notes, his coping mechanism had ended up pushing away and isolating the only other person he treasured in his life, and he looked at his sister for a second before caving in, and holding out his arm towards her.

 

Gigi shuffled across the couch, and rested her head on her brother’s shoulder, finally feeling as though she had cracked his cold exterior. He rested his arm across Gigi’s shoulders, and ruffled her hair affectionately. She let the silence hang around them for a moment longer, before speaking again.

 

“If this is how we’re feeling,” Gigi murmured, “Just imagine what it must be like for Lizzie right now.”

 

“That’s what worries me,” William replied, finally confiding in his little sister. “I feel … helpless, for lack of a better word.”

 

Gigi patted William on his knee, before looking up at him.

 

“You’ve done everything you can. She’ll find her way back to you – maybe not right away, but she’ll come back. I believe that, Will. I honestly do.”

 

William sighed pensively, before resting his head on the back of the couch and staring blankly at the ceiling. Gigi could see that he had a thousand thoughts running through his head, all of them involving Lizzie. She knew that all he had wanted was just one more week with her. One more week to show her that he had changed for the better because of her. Gigi would miss seeing her brother come alive next to Lizzie - the way that he would dare to be silly with her, the way he would admit his mistakes and character flaws to her, and the way that would smile once she looked at him with those deep jade coloured eyes. Lizzie Bennet was one of a kind - the only person who matched William, and without her, life had become colourless for both Darcys.

 

Gigi stretched out her legs before pushing herself up off the couch and picked up the empty Chinese containers. She stacked them precariously in her arms, before walking towards the kitchen. As she reached the door frame, she turned around and spoke quietly.

 

“Call her, Will. I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to take another chance.”

 

“That’s a terrible idea, Gigi.”

 

“Why?” she asked, “How do you know that she’s not feeling the same way as you do right now?”

 

William didn’t respond. He continued staring up at the ceiling, with his feet still resting on the edge of the table. He felt defeated. Empty. Alone. He wanted to believe that somewhere, Lizzie Bennet was sitting down on a Sunday evening, and letting him occupy her thoughts. He wanted to believe that she carried him around inside her, the way that he had since the moment they had first met.

 

He heard Gigi sigh and adjust the containers in her hands.

 

“Just think about it,” she said, “Goodnight Will,”

 

Again, he didn’t respond. He heard her soft footsteps disappear down the hall, and he swished the wine around his glass before swallowing the last of it. William pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocked the screen and tapped the green message icon.

 

But words escaped him. He couldn’t think of a single thing worth saying in a text message. Besides which, he didn’t want the hollowness of a reply that may, or may not, follow. They were just words. A combination of 26 letters rearranged into varying lengths, scattered across a screen.

 

No, he wanted more than that. He hesitated, before finally pushing the call button, and raised his phone to his ear.

 

On the third ring, she picked up.

 

“Lizzie?” He asked uncertainly.

 

“William.” He heard her breath into the receiver, ”God, I’m so glad you called …”


End file.
